My name is Lalita Selochan and im 14…My birthday is on January 9th, i live in NYC and im a belieber….For the past 3 years i have been battling with cutting/Self-Harm and an eating disorder. I never feel good or worthy enough, or beautiful, I haven’t stopped Cutting…but i have been starting to eat. You have no idea how much i tried meeting you. I tried meeting you at your book signing which was such a huge DISASTER. My sister and i….17 hours of waiting in the freezing cold!….tried to sneek in and when we finally got in the line! the polices kicked us out. Another time i tried meeting you was at your hotel when you was in NYC..me and my friend stephanie went to the london hotel because we were told by a belieber that you was staying there. Lets just say everything turned out ugly..we were both in heels which was a stupid idea and we waited at 4pm till 10pm. When i see you meeting fans like paige conway on ellen or on his new proactiv commercial…i cry. When i watch Never Say Never the movie….i cry.
Your songs have helped me through all of my rough days and have made me smile when i was feeling down. In 6th grade which was 3 years ago, I was taunted and teased, laughed at, i felt like a nobody. They used to pick out every single one of my flaws, take the chalk board erasers and clap it together over my head. They kicked me, they tripped me, they threw my bookbag everywhere, they called me “Ugly” “Stupid” They laughed and they called me “Dirty” “Poor”I remember the first time i finally broke down..it was in french class. Someone put a sign on my back that said “Kick me 2000x” and guess what this boy did? He kicked me..Hard on the side of my waist. I broke down crying..i ran in the hallway and sat outside the door just crying and shaking. That was when i first started to cut, but in that same year i found a boy named Justin Drew Bieber. Sometimes when i get angry and i NEEDED to cut myself, i would pick up the blade, look at your posters, put it back down and start crying. Also, i would hold my wrist and cry repeating “Stay Strong for Justin” Other times after i eat and feel like throwing up i listen to your music to help me clam down. At times i would think that if i ever met you that you would hate me because i don’t measure up and im not as beautiful as Selena or other kinds of girls you liked. Sometimes i don’t feel good enough for you justin, Sometimes i just felt like you would hate me because im cutting myself and hurting myself. At times i would cry because i would be ashamed to be a belieber and think if Justin knew this about me he’ll Just Hate me.
You have no clue who i am, you don’t know that im even in this world and it hurts knowing that i have no chance of meeting you. When i look at your pictures or listen to your songs i think about how much i yearn to hug you, to just hear you say “Its gonna be alright.” When im crying i would always want you to hug me and let me cry in your chest. I was so stressed because of the Believe tickets…i mean with the believe tickets and you going on tour for 2 years i feel like i will never meet you -.- and then im remembering when you met a fan and saw cuts on her wrists and said to her “Don’t you dare do that ever again. Your beautiful.” And i was just reading the words “Your Beautiful” over and over again and bawling..I just wanna meet you! and tell him thank you for saving me and for helping me. Is that too much to ask?! I’ve been trying to 4 years to meet You but im not giving up…Never say never right? I Love You. And im hoping you’ll come across this letter, read it and meet me.
This summer i went to Atlanta and i haven’t been doing very well…My eating disorder has been increasing. I’ve thrown up my meals multiple times and ever since i’ve came back home everyones been telling me that i’ve gotten fatter. I’m trying my hardest to stay strong for you but i feel like i’m gonna break soon. But know that im trying for you justin, I Love you. I’ll always love you and i will NEVER leave your side, Some fans leave you because you make mistakes. But no one’s perfect right? Well to me your flaws are what makes YOU perfect, No matter what mistakes you make i’m always here. Standing strong by your side..Supporting you. I don’t think you’ll read this but if you do..I want to you know your basically the reason why i haven’t gone over the edge and i’m VERY thankful for that..I’m thankful for you. I don’t care how many mistakes you make, i’m not leaving your side. Do you hear me Justin drew bieber?! I’ve gone through so much with you..and its not worth just giving up on you. Just get that in your head..No matter how much fans leave you..you have a true belieber..right here. I Love you <3 :’)
Thank You for everything. Thank You For helping me, Thank You for making the song “Be Alright” Thank You for being an inspiration, an idol. An amazing canadian boy that i love. I know my hard work will pay off someday and that i’ll get to meet you in person. Hug you..Look into your beautiful eyes and say “Thank you so much for helping me.”
P.S: BELIEBERS. As You Guys May Know…Justin Is Coming To NYC 3 Times…He’s going to be at the Barclays Center In Brooklyn On November 12 & Madison Square Garden On November 28th and 29th. I’m Going To Try And Convince My Sister to stay outside the Arena with me and my friend through out the Whole Concert and Try to find his tour bus or meet him. But it would be Amazing If He could read this letter and meet me One of those days. Please? #BeliebersHelpBeliebers Right?